I worked in the public service. I had a good job and I was popular. I would drink every night. I would gamble and I would empty my bank account and start again next fortnight. I thought everyone did it. I guess I got that wrong.
One day I was called in by my manager and they said I was going to have to talk about money that had been leaving the business account. I had been stealing from work accounts I couldn’t even say for how long, but I felt so ashamed. I tried going to therapy and for a while nothing worked but I found the right counsellor and we started talking and I realised the drinking and gambling wasn’t the problem.
The problem was inside me.
The problem was inside me but so was the solution. That was a revelation.
Now I use meditation and mindfulness and I have regular talks with my therapist who I trust. It took a while for that to happen. I’ve learnt to be more careful with who I have in my life, I guess that’s been one of the biggest changes. I have choices now. Before it was just drink, gamble, repeat.