My addiction was fuelled by loss, grief and trauma. Unable to process my husband's death, I found solace in drugs and alcohol to numb the pain. I was unable to move forward, stuck in grief and hiding my secret life of substance use from all who knew me. I could not see a way out and was silenced by shame, fear and stigma. Until the biggest turning point came in my life, as I sat there staring at a positive pregnancy test. I now had a reason to fight and find my light again. As hard as it was, I found my voice — be it quiet and shaking — and I asked for help.